Sunday, November 14, 2004
Creationism - I'm all for it
There’s a movement afoot by those who somehow managed to miss living through the 20th century to take us back to the 19th in the area of civil rights, economics, and war, not to mention the rule of early Victorian self-serving hypocritical religion. In fact, they seem to want to go right back to the good of days of the Spanish Inquisition.
Well, they want to live in the 15th century? Great, let them.
They sternly warn us that “evolution” is just a theory? Fine. They don’t have to believe in evolution. But they also need to stop using electricity – electrons and electromagnetic forces are just a theory, based on all kinds of little bitty invisible things not even hinted at in the Bible. In fact, that means they need to stop using not only computers and the internet, but electric lights, telephones, television, all aspects of modern medicine – since all those drugs were concocted on the basis of complex biochemical theories, not to mention the theory of light on which diagnostic microscopes are based, and weird unBiblical things like electron microscopes and magnetic resonance imaging and nuclear radiation, which are used in diagnosis and treatment of so-called “diseases” like cancer – a disease which these people obviously don’t believe in anyhow, since they’re very happy to undo the environmental protections that were put in place to keep more modern people from getting cancer.
They need to stop sending mail, which gets shunted mysteriously around the planet using vehicles that are suspiciously unlike horses, camels, and donkeys. For sure, they need to stop driving cars – not only do cars require electricity to work, but they’re also crammed with absurd theories concocted by some guy named Isaac Newton, who came up with notions not only about gravity and light (used in microscopes) but so-called “laws” of “physics,” ideas like “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction,” without which an internal combustion engine could not exist.
In fact, they’ll have to go back to fighting the wars they love so much with Biblical weapons like slingshots, because modern weapons are all based on theories about chemical interactions, the molecular qualities of depleted uranium, and those pesky Newtonian theories about force again. As for putting nuclear weapons in space, why, forget rockets – can’t use ‘em, Newtonian theories again; and subatomic particles are obviously blasphemous.
And the earth would spring back into much better shape if all those who disbelieve in those theoretical chemical reactions destroying the ozone layer, as well as building up carbon dioxide to theoretically cause global warming, had to stop producing all the pollutants that are feeding those reactions.
Yes, I think this would be perfectly fair. Let the people who base their science on the Bible stick with Bible science in all ways, and we will have a safer world. You can kill a guy by hitting him on the head with a rock, but it’s really, really difficult to destroy the planet without the theories of modern science. Those should only be wielded by people who are capable of understanding them, and more importantly, their consequences.
Well, they want to live in the 15th century? Great, let them.
They sternly warn us that “evolution” is just a theory? Fine. They don’t have to believe in evolution. But they also need to stop using electricity – electrons and electromagnetic forces are just a theory, based on all kinds of little bitty invisible things not even hinted at in the Bible. In fact, that means they need to stop using not only computers and the internet, but electric lights, telephones, television, all aspects of modern medicine – since all those drugs were concocted on the basis of complex biochemical theories, not to mention the theory of light on which diagnostic microscopes are based, and weird unBiblical things like electron microscopes and magnetic resonance imaging and nuclear radiation, which are used in diagnosis and treatment of so-called “diseases” like cancer – a disease which these people obviously don’t believe in anyhow, since they’re very happy to undo the environmental protections that were put in place to keep more modern people from getting cancer.
They need to stop sending mail, which gets shunted mysteriously around the planet using vehicles that are suspiciously unlike horses, camels, and donkeys. For sure, they need to stop driving cars – not only do cars require electricity to work, but they’re also crammed with absurd theories concocted by some guy named Isaac Newton, who came up with notions not only about gravity and light (used in microscopes) but so-called “laws” of “physics,” ideas like “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction,” without which an internal combustion engine could not exist.
In fact, they’ll have to go back to fighting the wars they love so much with Biblical weapons like slingshots, because modern weapons are all based on theories about chemical interactions, the molecular qualities of depleted uranium, and those pesky Newtonian theories about force again. As for putting nuclear weapons in space, why, forget rockets – can’t use ‘em, Newtonian theories again; and subatomic particles are obviously blasphemous.
And the earth would spring back into much better shape if all those who disbelieve in those theoretical chemical reactions destroying the ozone layer, as well as building up carbon dioxide to theoretically cause global warming, had to stop producing all the pollutants that are feeding those reactions.
Yes, I think this would be perfectly fair. Let the people who base their science on the Bible stick with Bible science in all ways, and we will have a safer world. You can kill a guy by hitting him on the head with a rock, but it’s really, really difficult to destroy the planet without the theories of modern science. Those should only be wielded by people who are capable of understanding them, and more importantly, their consequences.
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